I'm Gonna Say Whatever I want!

I Think I Shall Continue with This Blog

2009-06-06T09:09:00.000-07:00

I was getting ready to add a post to my main blog when I noticed this one I had started in December of last year. It was going to be my little outlet blog if you will, my blog that wasn't about Autism, kind of my candy blog, as opposed to my veggie blog. Yeah, great idea, do 3 entries and forget it.

I was actually getting ready to delete it but then I thought, gosh darn't I have so many opinions on so much crap, plus I always have stuff I think about a lot that I almost blog in my head, that I might as well just jot it all down here. I don't care if anyone reads it really, but it would be fun if they do!

So, what shall I talk about first as I sit here at the library, watching Casey playing on the computer, praying that he won't clap loud or shout out in excitement? Hhhhmmm, oh I know, here's something interesting.

My friend Barb called to ask me if I would take photo's at her neice's wedding that they're having in their backyard. I was a little take aback by her request! Years ago, and I mean years ago, I got into photograpy a bit and my brother in law if memory serves me right gave me a real camera that he wasn't using. I really got into it and took a photograpy class and stuff. I never really understood the technical stuff at all, but if I was lucky and set my apature (sp) just right, I usually got some great shots. The comments I got most about photos I took was that I had a good eye, and that I took photos from interesting perspectives.

So, Barb said that today as I kinda told her I wasn't sure. I don't even know if the old camera works any more, holed up somewhere in a closet long forgotten, replaced by the newer and far easier to use digital. I told her if I did do it not to expect much and she told me she didn't. I said okay, since she said my pay would be Bill and me coming to the reception and eating and drinking as much as we wanted. We could even bring Casey! No babysitter? Done deal! So that's sorta going to be interesting. I might break out the old camera and get reacquainted, get some shots with it. Who knows?

What else? The Wings are playing tonight, and there is the prospect of getting together with the Jozwiaks although I haven't heard from them. I'm good either way although it would be fun to watch with them, as it's fun to do just about anything with them. I gotta admit, when teams no matter what sport are in the playoffs, I find it a little boring. This obligation to watch is a little beyond me and I hate feeling such an obligation but when you have a sports monster in your house like Bill, things tend to center around when the game is going to be on sometimes. Ugh!
GO WINGS!

I called my mom several times this morning and she hasn't answered which I find nerve wracking. Her husband works nights and I really hate that she is alone most evenings. I call almost every morninng just to make sure things are okay, and when she doesn't answer, it makes me nuts. I'm sure she's fine and she is just out and about shopping early or something but still, I just need to know! Dawnie better call.

I've been dieting for awhile now, not WW, but just really watching it, no snacky food, no sweets really. I've been doing pretty well and lost about 7 lbs. give or take over the last couple of weeks. I need to get about 20 more off which sucks, but I think I can do it! Weekends are hard, because you really want to have fun and eat your ass off, (not literally) but when you're trying to watch it, it's sort of a bad idea. I would really love to take Casey to somewhere like Arby's for lunch and have a big ass beef'n cheddar, twirly fries and drink topped off by a cherry turnover, but I won't. MMMMmmmmmm that sounds good.

That's about it for now. I hope I can keep this one up, it's kinda fun to babble about me.

2008-12-22T14:19:00.001-08:00

My Love/Hate Relationship with "Ricky"

2008-12-22T08:14:00.001-08:00

LOVE

HATE!

HATE!

Cream of Wheat

2008-12-21T17:34:00.000-08:00

Do you ever get silly cravings? Cravings for things you haven't had in years? I had one tonight...Cream of Wheat.

Yes, Cream of Wheat. That pastey white "cereal" like stuff your mom probably made for you when you were a kid that you had to load up with a ton of sugar just to choke it down. Well, when I was a kid, I begged my mom to buy me Cream of Wheat. I even learned how to make it myself, and ate it profusely. Why, I even wrote a fifth grade paper about Cream of Wheat and how to make it. I got an "A" I believe, Mrs Arbor really liked that one.

So, tonight at the store, I was walking by the health food section freezer section where they had various frozen cereal all made up, and one was "creamed wheat", and I had a light bulb moment and lo and behold, I ran to the cereal aisle and got a box of the real thing!

Wow, it's like 3.99 a box now! That's ridiculous. Now mind you, it only takes 3 tablespoons for a serving, so I suppose there are a lot of servings. According to the box, 24. Not bad! I'd tell ya how much that is a servin' but I don't have a calculator handy..no, I can't do it in my head, duh!

I made some immediately when I got home, my first "Cream of Wheat" in years. I was in hurried anticipation, so I followed the microwave directions. It came out like what I believe "poi" at a luau might be like. It was extremely thick and weird. I loosened it up with some milk and added some sugar. It was ok but a little bit of a let down really. Perhaps, I should have used my knowledge from years ago and made it the old fashioned way atop the stove. I think I just might tomorrow.

Could it have been the cooking in the microwave? Or, do things change over time, like your taste buds? Or, did the formula of the "Cream of Wheat" itself change? All good questions, and ones I plan on finding answers for. Stay tuned for my next installment:
Cream of Wheat? Just a Pleasant Memory, or a Modern Day Letdown?

Silly Guilt and Saddness

2008-12-21T08:04:00.001-08:00

So now that I have this new "forum" for all things not Autism, I have to make a confession, one that will probably not be read by anyone considering I don't believe anyone has read this yet.

I KILLED ONE OF MY 12 BETTA FISH yesterday... There, I said it, I killed Basil. He was my lovely little purpley one who was ultra pretty. I of course didn't do it on purpose, I would never ever hurt an animal on purpose....maybe another human being, but not an animal.

I was cleaning out the bowls as I'm so wont to do every Saturday, being the fastidious betta owner that I am. As I was doing Basil's bowl, I was listening to Bill read one of those queer Christmas letters people send out, and I think I inadvertantly filled his blow with too warm of water. I went to put his bowl back in it's spot and when I picked it up, it felt rather warm. Then, I looked down and noted poor Basil floating on his side! In a flash, I dumped him in a bowl and put some cooler water in and poked him hoping I was inducing some sort of electro shock reaction. Alas, he never came back, and I was, well, mortified at myself! How could I do such a thing? Did he suffer? Could have possibly be something else that killed him? Probably not.....

And so, I killed Basil. I sadly flushed him down the toilet, and had a sick feeling in my gut the rest of the day. I festered over it from time to time. Like a fish, the pain was small but meaningful. Bill tried in his best supportive spouse way to get me over it, and it be honest, I sorta forgot about it for the rest of the night until I went to feed them, and noted his absence. I suck.

In Loving Memory of Basil 7-08 to 12-20-08

This is My New Blog

2008-12-20T17:52:00.000-08:00

I'm starting a new blog despite the fact that I am so very far behind in my other, and may I say, wonderful, blog, "Let it be Autism". It' s hard ya know. At times, I have blogged on it about fish, cats, excercise, and other junk. But it's really supposed to be about Casey, and his Autism, and that sort of thing.

Honestly, I get tired of talking about Casey's Autism, let alone thinking about it! I just love Casey for Casey, and I get tired of trying to come up with interesting upbeat stuff to write about him and his Autism that others might find interesting. I often find that the posts I do in that blog are not true to how I want to word things or explain things and I can't figure out why. The entries are accurate, to the point, but just not always the way I think them in my head. Sometimes, I don't even think I want the world or the small corner of the world that reads my blog to know everything that happens with him. I started the whole thing, sorta clinging to the concept of Autism Acceptance. I started getting away from all the curing crap and DAN shit and Jenny McCarthism garbage. But even in the sort of mode, you have to be careful of what you say, how you word things. I will continue that blog, but I think from now on I will use this new one to be a forum for all the other stuff I would love to blog about, things that pop in my head often enough, but shouldn't really be posted in an Autism blog. I know a blog doesn't have to be specific to a subject, but for me, it seems sensible to blog about certain stuff in certain blogs. I read blogs that are supposed to be about peoples Autistic kids and they talk about purses, and their husbands and their cats, and thats fine, but what about your kid with Autism?

Anyway, this blog is going to be a forum (gosh I like that word-forum) for whatever the hell I want to write about, and to say it however I want, either with or without expletives, with or without good punctuation and sentence structure, and dammit, I may offend people too, 'cause that's just the way I roll and I don't care!

So, tonight, I would like to talk about Turbo Jam again. I spoke of it in June in the afore mentioned blog but I didn't get but a few comments and I think they were like "Yeah, sounds fun, will never do it, but yeah...."....thanks, whatever!

Well, I have been finding myself doing it not so frequently, and it's sad. But when I work all day, come home, get Casey off the bus, try to clean my shitty gross house, pay attention to Casey, try to watch Oprah (ok, I could sacrafice Oprah, but dammit, I like her show a lot! wahhhh), eat a snack or snacks, Bill comes home, I make din, I try to spend time with the family, pet my plethora of cats, blah blah blah, I have no time to Turbo jam!

I love it though, I love doing it so much! I feel like a crazy, wild, strong, ass-kickin' bitch who could kick the ass of any guy who comes up to me while I am in Turbo Mode.! Chalene, the gal who started it all, is little and crazy and funny and full of so much energy she looks like she's gonna go through the roof sometimes! I want to be her friend, I want to do Turbo Jam with her. I want to be in a video! She is my friend on Facebook by the way, and I feel pretty good about that! She is AWESOME! She has made so much money off of it and now she has a new program, Chalene Extreme and that is going to be awesome too, it Bill let's me buy it.

Speaking of, Bill is really good about letting me do it. I don't know if he thinks me a real fat ass or what but he tries to give me chances to do it by removing Casey from the premises and doing something excercisey with him. When I do it, I just get this feeling of fun euphoria and strength that I love. I don't know why I don't do it daily, I would probably look much better if I did since I've gained like almost all the weight I lost back....but that's another post. I would highly recommend it to anyone. I wish my friends would try it and want to do it with me, but no one but my lovely Bill incarcerated (Amy Winehouse reference no one will get) will do it with me. Yes, Bill does it, and he keeps up which isn't easy for a 6'4 guy who has hyper extended joints and no sense of where his body is in space. I love him for it and we have fun doing it together (we have to have some physical activity together since I fall asleep at night early all the time).

And so ends my first installment of my new blog. This may seems daring, but I just decided that I will not go back and edit my entries, nor spellcheck them, so if they seem nonsensical and badly worded, then welcome to my free flowin' train of thought, stream of conciousness writing. This new rule may cause me to do more entries.